So you want to be flawless

So you're Flawless?
That's what I thought, however, I came across a hardcover book stuck way back in my bookshelf, which changed any haughty opinion that I had of myself.
Maybe, the bright yellow jacket turned me off from reading the 255 pages of 'Flawless!' before, after all its author, Louis A.Tartaglia, published it back in 1999 and even sent me a personal note with it.
When I started reading it this week, I quickly removed that yellow jacket and went thumbing through the 10 most common character flaws and what to do about them.
Right off , Dr. T. asks questions: How can you tell if you are possessed by a flaw?
1. Do you find yourself "upset" when you need to be calm?
2. Do you lie when it would be better to tell the truth?
3. Would you rather be right even if it wrecks a relationship?
4. Do you hate accepting responsibility and blame others even when you know you are wrong?
5. Does resentment feel like a perfectly normal civil right?
6. Do you worry about things you can't control?
7. Do you fear even when there is nothing to worry about because it feels normal?
8. Are you intolerant of people who are not like you even when you are interested in knowing them?
9. Do you use the excuse that when you are a victim whenever it is useful?
10. Do you try to force others to do things your way because you want them to like you?
11. Do you cop out with inadequacy even before you have tried your hardest?
12. Do you love to find fault and share it even when you are aware that it will hurt someone else?
13. Did you graduate from law school or become a politician?
14. Last but most important, do you find yourself using your most common flaw even when you don't want to?
And that's just the beginning of the tough, personal questions, and Dr. T. goes well beyond what you might get in asking Dear Abby or those self-help questionaires.
In 'Flawless!' Tartaglia identifies the 10 character flaws, in order of frequency: Addicted to Being Right; Raging Indignation; Fixing Blame and Nurturing Resentments; The Dread Seekers (Worry and Fear); Resisting Reality (Intolerance); The Poor Me or Martyr Syndrome; Self-regard Run Riot; The Excuse for Everything -- Inadequacy; Fault Finders, Hypercritical Pessimists; The Trap, Chronic Dishonesty.
Here's what Dr. T. had to say in the precede to 'Flawless!':
"Are you addicted to being right? Do you need to point the finger of blame toward everyone but yourself? When you get angry, does your upset quickly escalate into raging indignation? Then you, like many others, are suffering from character flaws that have undoubtedly held you back in your work, relationships, and life."
Then he added. "The good news is that character can be improved by working on the behaviour that undermines it ... Character flaws are just holes in our soul."
"Flawless!" the book drew high praise from fellow authors such as 'Chicken Soup for the Soul' co-authors, Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield:
"If you'd like a flawless life and character, read, absorb, and use these principles and insights from my friend, Dr.T.," wrote Hansen.
"If you don't have any flaws you're not human. Making your life work involves admitting yout flaws and committing to change. Let 'Flawless!' be your life guide. This is a must read for all earthly beings," wrote Ken Blanchard of "The One Minute Manager."
Some of those character flaws drive the point home that you and I aren't perfect, well, maybe you, but not the Ol' Columnist.
Take Character Flaw #4 -- The Dread Seekers -- Worry and Fear.
Dr. T. asks: How do you know if you are a dread seeker?
1. Do you feel that you are leading a life of quiet desperation?
2. Do you feel you can never adequately worry about any situation?
3. Do you believe that God is smaller than your problems?
4. Are worry and fear inalienable rights protected by the U.S. Constitution?
5. Are you more concerned with things you have no control over?
6. Do you spend time trying to figure out problems that might not occur?
7. Do you dread, seek, i.e. worry about what you dread and then try to prove you're right to dread?
8. Do you gloat over how savvy your gloomy predictions of the future are?
9. Are you never too tired to worry?
There's more 'Dread Seekers' but let's skip to to No. 19: Is your nickname Doom and Gloom?
After reading Dr. T.'s book from cover to cover, perhaps, I should call my brother, Garry.
After all he's a trained psychologist.
IT'S FRIDAY & TIME FOR UNCLE JOHN'S BATHROOM READER: Some people achieve immortality because their names are associated with an item or activity. You know the names -- now here are the people:
R.J. Lechmere Guppy. A clergyman living in Trinidad. He sent several species of tropical fish to the British Museum, including a tiny specimen that now bears his name.
Dr. J.I. Guillotin. A French physician. Moved by mercy, he endorsed what he thought was a more humane method of execution than hanging. Ironically, the guillotine -- which he did not invent -- is now synonymous with needless and brutal slaughter.
Haile Selassie. The emperor of Ethiopia, known as "The Lion of Judah." His real name was "Ras Tafari" -- which explains the origin of the term Rastafarian.